identity crisis, self esteem, and words of encouragement

In my brief micro-adventure into the land of photography this past week, I have noticed myself going through a range of emotions.
These thoughts & criticisms go somewhat as follows...

Maybe a nature walk will make me feel better.
Maybe I should take some photos for inspiration. 

Meh, you're not a real photographer, you don't even have a real camera, iphones don't count.

Well, this looks kinda neat, maybe I can do something with it in photoshop? 

Oh, you messed with the saturation & hues palette in photoshop and suddenly your mediocre snapshot counts as 'abstract art'?

Not Bananas, Not Lobsters, Not Watermelon, Not Nail Polish and Not The Eighties

I kinda like these, I think they're kinda cool, I think I'll post them in my store. 

What's wrong with you? Who do you think you are sharing your so-called 'artistic photos' to anyone?...let alone, posting them up for sale on some POD site. 

I do like the colors. 

Is there any real artistic value to these, though, besides the colors being a bit fun? What are you expressing? 

Oh, you just like the wacky colors? How brilliant!!! Your type of artistry is a dime a dozen. Go find another hobby. You suck!

They're not that simplistic... See... the corrugated drain pipe, in yellow, on purple, kinda reminds me of bananas... 

Ugh! You sound like one of those pretentious assholes that claim everything they do has some 'big, deep meaning'

And the orange on the blue, makes me think of lobsters... 
This drain pipe is having a bit of an identity crisis! 

I am projecting my own identity crisis onto this poor pipe... 

I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin, 

I'm forcing my state of mind onto this pipe & using bright, happy colors to do so. 

I'm trying to cheer myself up! 

I'm trying to figure myself out! 

What kind of artist am I? 

Do I even have a style? 

I'm supposed to be consistent... 

The market prefers predictability. 

As an artist, you need to have a style. 

Something that fits well & is marketable with the world! 

No one will ever buy this crap.

You're not that important. You're not that original, or different, or special. Why do you bother?

I'm just compelled, I guess...

And no, I don't have some singular shtick that I can peddle to the masses. 

I'm not clever.

I'm not edgy.

I'm not unique.

But I'm not that different either.

I like too many things.

I can't focus on just one style, or genre, or subject... I get bored.

I like weird things.

I like cute things.

I like pretty things. 

I don't specialize.
I am worthless.
I should just give up.

STOP

I should keep trying, keep doing, keep creating whatever I want & sharing it whenever, wherever... What makes them so special that they can & do but I somehow shouldn't? Nothing. I'm just as special as everyone else. I need to find my own way. Carve my own path! I need to be nicer, & more encouraging to myself. I would never critique a person outside of my own skin, in the way I treat myself. My overly critical self can get downright mean... To the point I do give up, temporarily. While certain questions need to be asked in order to make sure I'm not just 'phoning it in' as an artist, being an outright asshole to myself is just not helpful.

I think I've made my point. 
Today's post was quite therapeutic.

Thank you for reading my babble.

-Jen:)

...in a Funk!

I've been struggling.
My creativity has stalled out.
I'm having a hard time painting & drawing.
It's time to switch gears.
I turn to photography.

I seek out
textures
& shapes
that I find
interesting.

Even this process was feeling forced.

But I decided to play in photoshop, anyway. By simply adjusting the saturation, these colors emerged. You can see some faint reds & greens in the original shot. I continued to adjust the contrast, shadows & even the resolution to dramatize the bark's texture.

Anatural Abstraction of Tree Bark

Then, I decided to take it out of it's hue range... These pretty iridescent purples, pinks and turquoises emerged as if from some fantasy forest. 

Afantasy Abstraction of Tree Bark

I felt better! Pretty things have that effect on me. I couldn't resist, I had to offer them up in my society6 shop!
I hope you like them as much as I do!

Thank you for reading my babble!
-Jen:)

I have a mood disorder

It was supposed to be some flowers

My doodles are never just doodles. 

It began with a few swirls, some lines to look like flowers & vines. Then, I saw a face emerge. There she was, my Frazzled Hag, my anxiety. A self portrait of sorts!

Not all anxiety is the same. I'm not that jumpy, frightened rodent, fearful of her own shadow. I'm not even the hand-wringing, worrier type. I appear quite calm, sedate even, most of the time. All of my anxiety is deep, deep inside my gut. Am I good enough? Am I acting right? Should I not have said that? Am I talking too much? or not enough? Smile, nod, laugh, repeat...

Frazzled Hag

Who knew just feeling okay could take so much work? 

I was diagnosed with Dysthymia years ago, in my late 20's. I am a low mood person. This is just the way that I am. I suffer from anxiety & depression & really low self-esteem. This makes functioning like a person, difficult. I feel like I don't know how to act most of the time. I try to do the best I can to fit in. I try to follow along & do as everyone else seems to be doing. Yet I feel a bit like my Frazzled Hag looks much of the time.

I keep falling off the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy truck. The maintenance just feels so hokey. I tend to should all over myself while stammering through the exercises. I should know better... I've done this before... Ugh! Why won't it just stay away & leave me alone! I really have no reason to hate myself as much as I do. Redundant. I am redundant.

Why am I so mean to myself?

Par for the course, I suppose... I'll move on, I always do... But these rough spots really suck.

Thank you for reading my babble!
-Jen :)

Figuring it out

Freeform Doodle

As the kids get older, I'm slowly able to sneak more time to work on my artsy stuff, including this incredibly neglected blog. This also means I need to figure out what I'm gonna do when they grow up. Like, really do. I hate to say 'work' or 'career' because I don't want to poison my creative sprit in that way, but I'm really gonna need to convert my hobbies into something that has some monetary value.

Jewelry Hobby

Soft book I designed & stitched
Pattern at Spoonflower

Wiggly Flower

Abstract Drip

I am aware that everything is about choices. And that's just it... too many choices! My biggest problem is focus. I'm drawn in so many directions. I love to paint, draw, bead & even sew, but there aren't enough hours in the day or days in the week, blah, blah, blah.

I even get caught up in applying my designs to products on sites like zazzle, society6 & spoonflower, because I just can't shake my graphic design roots. Plus, it's just really cool to see my own art printed on stuff without having to do formal sourcing like the olden days. And that's huge!

And second to focus, is networking, I have a real hard time wrapping my head around the whole networking process. The world barely knows I exist and it's all my fault! I do have a facebook page and an instagram account too! I'm just so clunky & haphazard I fail to use them to their full potential. I really don't know where to begin or what my priorities should be! HA! I'm a mess!!!

So here I am, stumbling along, trying to figure out my next move.
Wish me luck! Leave a comment if you can relate, or if you been here in any way & got past this, I'd love to hear from you!

Thanks for reading my babble!
Jen

Real Artists Use Paint

The Heart - 1997 - Acrylic
My first intuitive painting.

I've always wanted to be a real artist.

I've always envied the painters.

I've dabbled a little but have always backed away from it quickly regardless of my feelings about the process. When I've enjoyed it, I also found it too overwhelming & emotional, so I quit. When I've been frustrated by it, I quit. When I've liked what I've done but feared messing it up, I've quit.

I always blame the paint. I don't know how to use it. I'm impatient. I keep making mud. It's so expensive!!! I don't want to waste my paint on bad paintings. I have a fear of paint. If I can't be a painter, I can't be an artist. I'll never be a real artist!
Oh, woe is me…

Then a friend shared a link to a site offering an online painting class.
http://braveintuitiveyou.com The Bloom True e-course with Flora Bowly.

My friend had already signed up. I checked it out & the price seemed reasonable so I signed up too. I had nothing to lose. It might be fun. I have a bunch of paint already. But, it was the philosophy behind Flora Bowly's creative process that really got me.

Intuitive painting. 

She doesn't sweat out planning her paintings, she paints until… it happens! Until she feels her images emerge… the paintings paint themselves!
Of course! (How did this not occur to me on my own?)

I have been an intuitive artist all along but I managed to diminish it by calling it doodling or babble. And I may have well just called it crap (and I have).

It's not the paint!

Paint does not make art, Art!
The process does... the meaning, the feelings, the self, the message, the communication does!

We are in our final week of class this week. I don't want it to end because the daily postings are what have been motivating me to keep painting over the last 5 weeks. I have to say, this is a 5 star class.
It has been a confidence booster for sure. My fear of paint has diminished quite a bit. I'm able to play & focus now. I can take myself seriously as an artist. And I'm starting to see the value of my own work… even if most of it is not in paint.

Thank you, Flora! There are no words that can fully express my gratitude for you & your class. Thank you hardly seems strong enough. In addition to my struggles as an artist, you have helped me as a person. And now I have flood of cliche things floating through my head to express but I'll save anyone from having to endure that mess… Again, Thank you, is the best I can do. Flora, You're great!

Thank you for stopping by to read my babble.

Amateur Performance

I just completed a new watercolor & ink illustration.
I titled it Amateur Performance for a couple of reasons:

First, because the 2 central characters look like they're putting on a play (or engaging in a confrontation?).
The second reason is because it perfectly explains how I feel about myself & my art & my attempts to get noticed… totally amateur.

The dinosaur/rock structure holding up the backdrop reflects my insecurity about my age and my late start. I've realized I have a few reoccurring themes in my doodles and they include wings. Wings to me imply the ability to fly, therefore flee & escape. They also imply a sort of freedom. I wish I allowed myself total freedom to express and not be so self conscious. While there are spectators, there are only a few. (I'm just getting started, though do I really expect global domination?) The feedback I've gotten so far has been positive but I'm bracing myself for when I get asked to leave. My insecurity is so crippling at times I fail to move forward. It's scary to share any of the things I create. They are incredibly personal. Being able to share digitally makes this a bit easier. I find it encouraging to get positive feedback on sites like Spoonflower and Society6 and I'm hoping these communities will help me grow & accept myself a little better.

Thanks for reading my babble.

Playing with Supplies

I like to play with art supplies and I don't care to have a plan. Since I am in a constant state of being interrupted, it's easiest to draw. And if the kids are painting with their watercolors, I can do that too. So, for the last year or so I've been pairing up the two, watercolors with my ink drawings.
Here are a few.

My Brain has These Thoughts Sometimes

My Brain has These Thoughts Sometimes was one of the first and I think still the best of my experiments. It's on bristol board. I can't remember if my son contributed to this one or not but there are certainly finger smears that I used to create the little floating critters. To me, it looks like the profile of a patchwork head that's been happily blown apart.

Alien Sea Floor

Alien Sea Floor was done around the same time as My Brain has These Thoughts Sometimes.

Desires for Change Complacent in the Same

Desires for Change Complacent in the Same is a more recent completion. I hated it for weeks. All I had was the weird flower thing developed for the longest time and couldn't get past it. I didn't want to do another generic imaginary floral design. But then, I started to see the faces emerge, so I followed them. The worry, the complacency, the longing… Hair that becomes wings to a snail-like creature. It's like a weird dream I have yet to figure out all the way.

Thanks for stopping by and taking a look and reading some of my babble.
-Jen :)

Prints of these are available over at my Society6 store.

ugh!

So, here's my dilemma... my whole career I've had constant and instant feedback on my designs to the point of meddling and it made me nuts! Now, I have ho sense of self editing or regulation. There's a contest on Talenthouse I want to enter for LimoLand to design a love icon. This love icon cannot include traditional heart symbols. So I did a simple, marketable graphic that I thought would fit their clothing line. But then, I had this quirky idea I want to share and now I'm torn on which one to submit.

That said, I need help choosing...

Serious?

or Quirky? 

I'd love to hear your opinion. 

Thanks for stopping by to read my babble!

Some direction would be nice

I'm stranded over here!!!
I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing!

Bob: Almost a Palindrome

Well, a couple of weeks ago my brain was feeling icky. When my brain feels icky, drawing usually helps. When I don't have any idea what to draw, I ask my 2 year old or my 3 year old what I should draw. This time, I asked the 2 year old and he requested 'circles'.
"Big circle," he says.
"Okay, now what?" I ask.
"Little circle," he says.

This goes on for a bit and once he's lost interest, I begin to connect the circles and add more circles until I see a figure begin to emerge. I give him teeth around his one big eye, which instantly becomes his tongue, or maybe just his throat? And I decide I don't want him to be stuck only one way. So I turn him upside-down and give him a second identity. Two sets of feet [slash] eyeballs and a pair of hands that really do express his anxiety from both view points. Then we move on to dinner and diaper changes.

right side up

upside-down

Thanks to Facebook, I noticed Signal Snowboards is hosting a design contest via Talenthouse.
I hesitated for a few days. I'm not a snowboarder. And this is a youngster competition. I'm not young. But I am a designer. But I don't have many Facebook friends or art fans, I'll never win a popular vote. But is it really about winning? Isn't exposure just as good? Despite my chronological age, I'm a beginner as far as the 'art' world is concerned. But... in the design world, I'm a veteran. My stuff's been all over the planet and I dismiss that achievement outright. It doesn't count. Nobody knows I'm the one that did all those designs. I was a work-for-hire after all. Should I bother?


I downloaded the templates. I scanned my circle guy with the toes for eyelashes and eyelashes for toes. I manually trace him out with the pen tool because I hate the lack of control I get with auto-trace. I start assigning the limited colors, 3 max for the base of the board. I choose deep forest green (evergreen trees), an icy muted blue (sky) and a light cool gray (ice and snow). My little guy looks like he's in free-fall and shouting, swearing, screaming, whatever... I think the logo fits as his exclamation. So I place one bubble for each guy as well as one for the rider, since they are in this ride together. For the top sheet of the board, I wanted to pull the image from the base through it as to merge life on Earth with their 2D little universe. So, I used complimentary orange and deep red to illustrate a shadow puppet effect as well as highlighting the intensity of this 'extreme' sport. I included the exclamation bubble in the shadow, but without the mark, because of the intensity of the situation; even speech becomes a solid object that would cast a shadow. So, I guess I'm doing this... I'll enter this in the contest...

So I upload the file and Talenthouse requests a title and description of the work. I'm terrible at this. My 2nd weakest characteristic right behind lack of confidence, a clever title. Since my little guy works right side-up or upside-down, I thought Bob would be an appropriate name. He is not symmetrical, so he's not a real palindrome, but he's good enough for me.

In the end, I think it would make for a cool board. I'd love to see it in production. I'm not sure of the median age of a snowboarder these days, but I think they may dig it too.

Your votes and your support would be greatly appreciated.
Voting opens September 5th.
Please click the 'Support Jennifer' button on the page and share via Facebook and Twitter.
Thanks!

Bathing Suits 2014

Over at Front Row Society they are hosting a new contest and this time it is bathing suits!!! The theme is African textiles.

I drew my inspiration from the African Daisy for 2 of my entries, then a stylized leaf for my 3rd entry.

Design One

As usual, I started with ink on paper.

I created the repeat then decided on 3 different color ways.

Daisy Rhythm in Pink

Daisy Rhythm in Blue

Daisy Rhythm in Red

Design Two

I rearranged the pieces to create a new pattern, a bit more flower-like. Again in 3 more color ways. This time I neglected to choose a unique name for each design. 

Daisy Burst

Daisy Burst

Daisy Burst

Design Three

I drew out some stylized leaves.

Then I created a simple pattern and stuck to the color green.

Adwoa

Please follow the link below each design to cast your vote for your favorite(s).

Thanks for reading my babble!

Delilah's Garden

UPDATE!!! The Scarf is Now Available!!!

Delilah's Garden Printed Silk Scarf

The Backstory...

Front Row Society is a unique fashion company in that artists compete to have their designs used to make unique fashion accessories.
As with most things in my life I wandered into them by accident. Poking around on flickr one day, I was admiring the work of fellow Spoonflower designer, Akwaflorell, and saw she had some designs up for vote at Front Row Society. I followed the link but the voting was already closed for that contest. So, I spent some time investigating what the deal was & how can I get in on it?

The upcoming contest was to be 'Bohemian vs. Bourgeois'. I thought I'd give it a try.

I got out the pen and started drawing.

Again, I tend to work backwards on things, I felt the design needed some color. Plus, they recommended a color palette. I tried to follow it best I could with my watercolors and created an approximate color layer to be combined in photoshop.

Worked some photoshop magic and voila! Here is the design before creating the repeat.

Full view of the repeat as I hope it looks as a finished scarf.

To my great surprise, the team over there felt my design was worthy of their Spring 2014 collection!
I couldn't be happier.

Oh, and Akwaflorell won for four of her designs! So, you should check her stuff out too!
See all 20 winning designs here!

Lollapadoodle

I entered a t-shirt design contest for Lollapalooza. I hope you like it.

How I came to this design is I started out drawing my own letters. I was going to simply decorate the letters with some patterns but they started to take on personalities. I blame the lowercase 'a'. I made a weird mistake with my pen and it turned into a tooth. It wasn't going to be a tooth, it was going to be some sort of fringe all the way around the 'a' but I couldn't ignore it's toothy quality. I drew the 'p' upside-down in an effort to twist the word on itself. I was going to re-use the 'a', one of the 'l's and proceed to the eye ball 'o's, 'z' and final 'a' but I didn't think that would read easily. I backed it up by adding the uppercase upside-down  'A' at the top and another 'l' to lead into the 'ooza' instead. This creates a spiraling shape conducive of a large spiraling lollipop... or a lollapalooza.

Once the letters were drawn, I evolved them into characters. The first 'L' is actually the shrunken head shape that intersects what became the 3 eyed 'O' Monster. The top O-eye is bloodshot because he's being strained by the L. It's crowded here. Like any sold out show. The lowercase 'l's are my tortured little artists, singing their hearts out, making their mark... even if the snotty little 'a' is trying to eat 'em up. The P-man is simply a spectator. The upside-down uppercase A seems to be a grown version of the lowercase 'a's yet none of them are wearing shirts. The Z is sleeping, or blissfully enjoying the crowd, I'm not sure. He's a Z, I felt he should be sleeping... Zzzz. I'm not sure why the O-Monster is trying to eat Z, maybe he's just trying to wake up his passed out friend? The 2013 is simply done up sideshow style to not steal any personality from the letters.

I left it in black & white because I like color so much, I have difficulty being satisfied in it's placement with in my designs. Plus, I thought it would be so cool to be a shirt that could be colored in while wearing it at the concert. Either with washable or permanent markers, it would really make the shirt interactive and a great personal memory that in the end would be unique.

I hope a few more people get to know I exist and I hope they vote for my design.

Flight of Fancy

Over at Spoonflower (the fabric design on-line store), they are hosting their fabric of the week contest with the theme of Flight... and/or Birds. It is a limited palette contest: grey, teal, green, & yellow. It is being sponsored by UK craft magazine Mollie Makes and they're planning to use the winning fabric in a cover photo. You can vote this Thursday here.

Technical Stuff: The Process

About 2 weeks ago, I did a little pencil sketch on a scrap of paper. Working in pencil alludes to a planning process. This is already a stray from my typical working directly in ink. 

I prefer to work around the unexpected and see what happens. So, I decided to start again, but true to form, in ink.

Then, I scanned it to try to work out the repeat. I did a free form brick repeat so the 'sun' would tuck into the cusp of the cloud. Then I printed it & traced the negative space onto fresh bristol paper & filled that in with more bird elements.

As I drew, I stopped accepting things I didn't like & simply outlined the area again to start over.

I struggled with the limited color palette. I struggle with adding color to my ink drawings in general because I don't really care for the 'paint by number' look. However, I think it turned out okay.

The Guts: The Meaning

This design became very meaningful to me which made many of the elements become more intentional than my usual art. The large mother bird represents me. The little one clinging to her represents my son. He's very, very, very clingy. But, he's trying to move on. The medium sized yellow bird represents my 3 year old. She's independent. Confident. Ready to go. The migration is the events that lead up to my son & daughter. I was 33 and already considered to be of advanced maternal age. It took 3 years to experience a successful pregnancy. Then, when my daughter was 10 months old, I found out I was pregnant again. The clouds are the gloominess of infertility as well as the challenges of motherhood while the flowers & sunshine are the hope & happiness. The sleeping birds represent the dream babies, all the failed embryos that refused to implant. The small, malformed birds represent the miscarriages. I think there is certainly more happiness than sadness in my mother migration but the work is endless. 

See the full repeat pattern here.

Therapy Session

For the last 3 months I've been adding some 'doodle babble' to the hubcap I received from Landfillart.org and here's my finished piece.

Materials

I used an Ultra Fine Point  Sharpie®, a silver Sharpie Paint Pen and my trusty Koh-i-nor Rapidograph. I decided it was necessary to coat the final piece with clear Rust-O-leum with the hopes of preserving the design for a little while. I wish I had more experience with spray paint. I tried to follow the advice I received from Dave, of CPC Powder Coating, which was to lightly spray the piece with a layer of overspray first, wait 5-10 minutes & then spray normal but I accidentally got too close to the piece and blurred some of the design. I have no way to correct this error. It exposes my inexperience. I hope my creativity overshadows my technical flaw. I hope they will still include it in their online gallery.

So, what's it about anyway?

Well, I decided to title the piece "Therapy Session" because it is the best description I could come up with to explain the mish-mash of doodles. It reflects the random things that crossed my mind this summer as I worked on the design. A big part of the design is the anxiety, anguish & frustration of having life's challenges thrown upon us, against our will. Then there's just a lot of filler, just like life. 

Topics include but are not limited to:

• Cancer. Lots of cancer. Polyps, nodes, cysts, you name it. My dear friend Marilyn had to endure treatment for a hearty dose of thyroid cancer. She is in the clear now and feeling back to normal but it made me sad, angry, frustrated & helpless. 
• Anguish 
• Solitude/Escapism
• Confinement
• Motherhood
• The Aurora, Colorado movie theater shooting
• The 2012 Olympics
• Heroism

Hubcap as Fine Art

I got my very own hubcap!!!


First off, some background info:
Last spring, shortly after my son was born, I started to design fabric for the site, Spoonflower. There are tons of talented designers & artists creating one of a kind fabric designs there and among those artists is Kristen Stein. Her fabric is beautiful and her artwork equally beautiful. Her blog is where I found out about Landfillart.org An Artist Reclamation Project.

Landfillart.org and their mission: 

Landfillart is an international effort encompassing one-thousand-forty-one (1,041) artists to claim a piece of rusted metal garbage and create fine art.

The 1,041 pieces of rusted metal are actually old automobile hub caps from the 1930’s through the 1970’s.  Each hub cap, after being cleaned and primed, is affectionately called a “metal canvas.”  Although most “metal canvases” have been transformed by the artist using oil or acrylic paint, some have been weaved on, glued or screwed or welded to, or made into fine sculpture.

I have found that the fine artists I have worked with on this project do not even flinch when looking at this white round disc of metal canvas.  And why should they.  Artists from the beginning of time have used cave walls (Lascaux, France and Altamira, Spain,) walls of pyramids (Egyptians,) animal skins (American Indians,) etc… as their canvas.  In addition, as a gallery owner for over thirty years, I maintain that artists, generally speaking, are more ecologically in touch and environmentally aware.  Perhaps that is the reason forty-one artists readily accepted the challenge and embraced the project.

Although the project is in its infancy (I hope to have it completed by 2012,) it will evolve from a simple idea of taking forty-one old rusted hub caps and creating forty-one pieces of great art.  The second phase has already started with the acquisition of one thousand additional (1000) rusted hub caps which will be turned into cleaned and primed “metal canvases.  The project will continue with finding one thousand (1000) talented artists who believe in this project.

The third phase will involve publishing a book on the project showcasing all one thousand forty one (1,041) completed “metal canvases.”

The fourth and final phase will involve choosing 200 metal canvases that adequately represent the project and create a traveling show. The book and traveling show will publically portray the global art community's effort to positively impact the environment through repurposing previous metal waste into great landfill art.

My first thought was "I want to do this!", my second was "I can't believe they haven't already reached their goal!". So I looked at their application page which read:

If you are a professional artist, who would like to apply for consideration to become part of the landfillart project, please send:

• short biography
• samples of your work
• a description of what you'd like to create
• why you'd like to participate (please limit your descriptions to under two-hundred words)

to: artistsubmissions@landfillart.org. You can also mail your information (CD format is preferred) to the address below.

Landfill Art
122 South Main Street. Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, 18701 USA

Telephone: 1  570 823 0519
In USA:      1  800 248 2467
FAX:           1  570 823 7182
EMAIL: ken@landfillart.org

Then I thought "Do I qualify as a professional artist?" I have sold a few designs through Spoonflower. I was a graphic designer for over 15 years. Does that count? It took a full 24 hours to muster enough gall to send Ken Marquis an email.

The email went as follows:

Dear Ken and all in charge of submissions,

* short biography -
My name is Jennifer Starchvill. I am a married, mother of two small
children. I live in a suburb of Chicago. I became aware of your
project by way of Kristen Stein's blog yesterday. I found her on
Spoonflower, where I also post my designs for sale as printed fabric
patterns. I have always been an artist. I was a professional graphic
designer for 15 years where I did everything from package design to
product design, marketing anything from construction supplies to baby
toys. I've experimented in quite a few artistic mediums however, the
one I keep going back to is pen and ink. What I draw most is what I
call 'Doodle Babble'. Doodle Babbles are ink drawings inspired by my
subconscious. Some are decorative, some are deep, some whimsical and
fun, and some can be weird, but mostly, people say they're interesting
and they like them.

* samples of your work -
'Subconscious Garden' Pen and ink on paper, repeat pattern -
http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/1181142
'Bejeweled Lines' Pen and Ink on paper, repeat pattern -
http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/1198269
'Curves' Pen and Ink on paper, repeat pattern -
http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/975039
'The Shirt' Pen and Ink on cotton knit single continuous pattern (see
attached), plus, this blog entry includes photos of paintings The
Shirt inspired - http://doodlebabble.blogspot.com/2012/06/shirt.html

* a description of what you'd like to create -
I would like to create a subconscious scene on one of your metal
canvases. If ink isn't feasible, I can use a different medium, like
oil paint or acrylic.

* why you'd like to participate (please limit your descriptions to
under two-hundred words) -
Why not? Your project seems so cool! I love the idea of arting up some
junk, making it functional again (even if it is decorative).

Thank you for creating this project.
I hope I get the opportunity to be a part of it.
Best Regards,
Jennifer Starchvill

The Fun Begins:

To my surprise, I got a positive response and my hubcap was shipped on July 5th. I received it the following Tuesday. I wasn't sure what to expect but I thought it was going to be primed in white like the photos on their site but mine was still metal. Which, after looking at many of the ones in the gallery, it seems many of those were in their natural hubcap condition before the artist got a hold of them too.

Then I started to experiment. Will my ink stick? Temporarily. It rubs off quite easily with a paper towel. It's really not commonplace to use a rapidograph on metal. There are home made inks and some graffiti market inks but I need (want) them to work in my rapidograph pen and I don't have the luxury of time. I figured, ink would stick to paint, right? So I started to look for paint that would stick to metal. The preparation process was just too much for a mother of a 2yr old & 1yr old to handle... Sanding, acetone, rubber gloves...Ugh! So I looked for a powder coater that could 'prime' my 'canvas' for me. I sent out a few emails searching for advice & pricing. I hit pay dirt! My new friend Dave, of CPC Powder Coating in Crest Hill offered to coat it pro-bono! Understanding my artistic vision, he did a clear coat for me. Another coater offered the advice of a matte silver for $25 but ya can't beat 'free'. I also felt matte silver would have taken some of the hubcappyness out of it. Now, it is still reflective and looks like steel. But, the ink still rubs off with a paper towel. I anticipated a top coat of clear would be needed to hold the design. Dave assured me once my design was complete, some clear rust-o-leum should preserve it. He suggested to do a 'dust' coat first & let it set 5 minutes, then to do a regular coat. There shouldn't be a problem with the top coat adhering to their clear coat. I'm crossing my fingers. Since I can't leave well enough alone, I thought I'd try a different ink, just in case. A good old Sharpie®. (Some artist I am, it just didn't occur to me sooner to try a good old fashioned Sharpie.) Yes! Sharpie will work!