Thursday, November 21, 2013

Amateur Performance

I just completed a new watercolor & ink illustration.
I titled it Amateur Performance for a couple of reasons:

First, because the 2 central characters look like they're putting on a play (or engaging in a confrontation?).
The second reason is because it perfectly explains how I feel about myself & my art & my attempts to get noticed… totally amateur.

The dinosaur/rock structure holding up the backdrop reflects my insecurity about my age and my late start. I've realized I have a few reoccurring themes in my doodles and they include wings. Wings to me imply the ability to fly, therefore flee & escape. They also imply a sort of freedom. I wish I allowed myself total freedom to express and not be so self conscious. While there are spectators, there are only a few. (I'm just getting started, though do I really expect global domination?) The feedback I've gotten so far has been positive but I'm bracing myself for when I get asked to leave. My insecurity is so crippling at times I fail to move forward. It's scary to share any of the things I create. They are incredibly personal. Being able to share digitally makes this a bit easier. I find it encouraging to get positive feedback on sites like Spoonflower and Society6 and I'm hoping these communities will help me grow & accept myself a little better.

Thanks for reading my babble.