|The Heart - 1997 - Acrylic|
My first intuitive painting.
I've always wanted to be a real artist.
I've always envied the painters.
I've dabbled a little but have always backed away from it quickly regardless of my feelings about the process. When I've enjoyed it, I also found it too overwhelming & emotional, so I quit. When I've been frustrated by it, I quit. When I've liked what I've done but feared messing it up, I've quit.
I always blame the paint. I don't know how to use it. I'm impatient. I keep making mud. It's so expensive!!! I don't want to waste my paint on bad paintings. I have a fear of paint. If I can't be a painter, I can't be an artist. I'll never be a real artist!
Oh, woe is me…
Then a friend shared a link to a site offering an online painting class.
http://braveintuitiveyou.com The Bloom True e-course with Flora Bowly.
My friend had already signed up. I checked it out & the price seemed reasonable so I signed up too. I had nothing to lose. It might be fun. I have a bunch of paint already. But, it was the philosophy behind Flora Bowly's creative process that really got me.
Intuitive painting.She doesn't sweat out planning her paintings, she paints until… it happens! Until she feels her images emerge… the paintings paint themselves!
Of course! (How did this not occur to me on my own?)
I have been an intuitive artist all along but I managed to diminish it by calling it doodling or babble. And I may have well just called it crap (and I have).
It's not the paint!Paint does not make art, Art!
The process does... the meaning, the feelings, the self, the message, the communication does!
We are in our final week of class this week. I don't want it to end because the daily postings are what have been motivating me to keep painting over the last 5 weeks. I have to say, this is a 5 star class.
It has been a confidence booster for sure. My fear of paint has diminished quite a bit. I'm able to play & focus now. I can take myself seriously as an artist. And I'm starting to see the value of my own work… even if most of it is not in paint.
Thank you, Flora! There are no words that can fully express my gratitude for you & your class. Thank you hardly seems strong enough. In addition to my struggles as an artist, you have helped me as a person. And now I have flood of cliche things floating through my head to express but I'll save anyone from having to endure that mess… Again, Thank you, is the best I can do. Flora, You're great!
Thank you for stopping by to read my babble.